Mule Skinner Blues: With too much baggage, on an unfit bicycle, a crank cranks his way through wilderness and history to scowl at the White House.

What was in the head of a bike pedaler on a solo ride from Pittsburgh to Washington D.C. Contents include: History, disrespect for then-President Donald J. Trump, mud, dirt, filth, swears, one Electra Townie cruiser-type bike, fig/nut bars, bourbon, beautiful scenic photography, odd/sketchy lodgings, mild adventure, inspiration... From the preface: This work of non-fiction is for those who are thinking of riding a bicycle from Pittsburgh, Pa., to Washington D.C., on the trails of the Great Allegheny Passage and Chesapeake and Ohio Canal Towpath. It's also for pedestrians and motor-vehicle operators who wonder what kind of fool would do such a thing.... If you're a biker, you will learn what the GAP/C&O will do to the mind and spirit of a reasonably fit rider. We hope, if you attempt this ride or any other long-distance bike tour, that this book will help you be better prepared to face its physical, logistical and psychological challenges, as well as understand the rewards gained from crazy-ass treks into the unknown. If you've never pedaled like this, we hope it's an inspiration for you to attempt your own little adventure. If you are a non-biking reader, know that the author is not the hard-core type of cyclist who wears spandex bibs and talks of carbon frames and gear ratios. You will not be bored to tears by chapters on pedal cadence and watts. He's also not the impressive adventurer who bikes across continents carrying only a pot and a tent. He's just some guy who got a wild hair to ride a cheap cruiser-type bike as far as he could, to see what he could see. In addition to being a chronicle of pure, though reasonable, adventure, this book is also a picture of a moment in contemporary history, late-May, 2017. Politically-sensitive readers should be warned that the author expresses strong feelings about then-President Donald J. Trump. These political expressions are brief and, we hope readers agree, do not devolve into tiresome rants. That late-May, 2017, moment is put into context with the history the author pedals through, visiting scenes from the French and Indian War to the Civil War ... with details about canal building, railroad history, George Washington, Richard Nixon ... And there's humor, and, uh ... . How the hell can this thing be summarized? "It's the best midlife crisis you could've had. It's better than sleeping with whores or buying a Corvette, that's what you should write," the author's wife Jules interrupts with suggestions for this preface. Biking alone through unfamiliar lands is probably not as dangerous as sleeping with whores, as far as midlife crises go - but, "midlife," wait, there's no mention in the book of the author's age. It is hoped that the reader will picture him as virile, though unkempt and a bit crazed and trail-happy at moments. But he does reveal he's old enough to remember Nixon and Watergate. There is a point in the book where he calls his bike a "dirty whore." There is some profane and obscene language in this work, but, we promise, there is no adult content nor unnatural physical intercourse with bicycles. There are lots of pretty pictures. For those who read this on a black-and-white Kindle, you can see the photos in glorious color at muleskinnerblues.tumblr.com. Also on the blog are many related audio-visual infotainments, updates and other junk that we couldn't cram in here. Where does this trail go? What are you going to see? Only one way to find out: Hop on your mule and ride.