Now in paperback! Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue―from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,001 funniest things ever said:“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”―Rita Rudner“I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.