God Loves Golfers Best: The Best Jokes, Quotes, and Cartoons for Golfers (Valentine's Day Gifts for Him Golf Book)

God Loves Golfers Best is the ultimate collection of golf jokes, quotes, and cartoons sure to tickle the funny bone of any avid duffer. A perfect gift or self-purchase for the golf fan in your life!

Examples from God Loves Golfers Best:

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green, and end up in the hole.

What should you do if lightning strikes during your round? Walk around holding a 1-iron, because even God can't hit a 1-iron!

A man is getting married and is standing by his bride at the church.

Standing beside him are his golf clubs and bag.

His bride whispers, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

The groom replies, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

Read more Continue reading Read less ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ray Foley is an expert bartender and publisher of Bartender magazine. He is also the founder of the Bartenders Foundation Inc. and the author of Bartending for Dummies. He has appeared on ABC-TV News, CBS News, NBC News, Good Morning America and Live with Regis and Kathie Lee. He has also been featured in major magazines, including Forbes and Playboy. Ray resides in New Jersey with his wife and partner, Jaclyn.

EXCERPT. REPRINTED BY PERMISSION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Golf Course or…

Four married guys go golfing. While playing the 4th hole, the following conversation takes place:

1st Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend."

2nd Guy: "That's nothing. I had to promise my wife I would build a new deck for the pool."

3rd Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife I would remodel the kitchen for her."

They continued to play the hole when they realized that the 4th guy hadn't said anything. So they asked him, "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

4th Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. and when it went off, I shut off the alarm, gave the wife a nudge, and said, 'Golf course or intercourse?'

And she said, 'Wear your sweater.'"

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