The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family

Very important book if you find yourself always attached to narcissists

This book has been life changing for me. Like probably anybody else who has found out they are living with a narcissistic partner, I started reading many books on the subject. All books give lengthy descriptions of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the NP-disordered person, his behavior, his inner thinking, just so much that while reading, one becomes totally angry and infuriated. How dare this person treat me in such a way? The Wizard of Oz is written by a therapist who has treated many NPD persons and their counterparts as well. This is very important. She is the first author to give a fine and profound analysis of the entanglement between the two of you: your NPD partner and you. Then she asks you, the reader and partner of an NPD, why you are attracted to NPD's. What happened in your life so that now you must be with an NPD person? What is your underlying problem? This has really been an eye-opener to me. This is the first book that made me think about myself in this way, looking for answers deeply within me instead of just thinking about strategies to deal with the NPD and to become stronger in the relationship with him. The author gives an example of one patient of her who started to ask herself the right question. And so did I. I immediately knew which question to ask myself and what was the answer. I was stunned. I knew the answer, I had known it all my life, but I had never asked myself this question, nor had any therapist in my life. Eleanor Payson, thank you. The answer you made me look for in myself freed me instantly. It changed my relationship with my NPD partner instantly and totally, without any effort. I no longer have to put all my energy in suppressing the truth about my own wounding (which was the clue about why I MUST attach myself to an NPD). Our relationship changed. He saw it and accepted. I did not have to break up with him. Something that made me cling to him and all the time need something from him, like me insisting on him givi...