And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence

From Publishers Weekly Using what's called action research, Cornell University professor Garbarino (Lost Boys) and therapist deLara interviewed students, educators and administrators to probe the issue of bullying in American schools. They've included interviews debunking the premise that kids can deflect taunts and jeers by using the familiar defense "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Parents, teachers and counselors must remove their nostalgically rooted, rose-colored lenses and listen to teens, Garbarino and deLara say, in an effort to provide them with the safety they crave and need. Positing that psychological stabbings are all too common in adolescents' daily lives and that many of them feel powerless to defend themselves, the authors portray teens who believe they must endure emotional violence because adults aren't going to do anything about it (while others lash out against emotional abuse with physical violence). Although teenagers inevitably segment themselves into social groups, measures can be taken to quash bullying (the authors suggest broadening a student's peer group, lobbying for school uniforms and promoting character education, among other things). The revealing student interviews give depth to Garbarino and deLara's extensive knowledge in the field of teen psychology, and this effective guide will help adult readers truly understand the cruelty and violence present in today's schools.Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc. From Library Journal Childhood angst tends to torment parents as well as children and can erupt into the tragedy of school shootings. These books address such problems from fairly dissimilar perspectives. Psychologists Thompson (coauthor, Raising Cain) and Cohen (Playful Parenting) collaborate with journalist/ author Grace on a sensitive and straightforward advice manual that focuses on 40 key questions regarding the social life of children. Conversational and upbeat in tone, the book is divided into three sections designed to help readers distinguish "normal" social pain from more lasting trauma. The text covers friendship skills, tattletales, racial bigotry, bullying, and personal hygiene and also suggests techniques for building positive leadership and conflict-resolution skills. The issues addressed are drawn from actual questions raised during their workshop/consulting experience. The answers reflect cumulated wisdom about what matters in the life of children from grade school through adolescence, and the book as a whole similar to but more practical than Charlotte Giannetti's and Margaret Sagarese's recent Cliques. In contrast, Garbarino (human development, Cornell Univ.; Lost Boys) and de Lara, a researcher and family therapist, focus on the pathology of mainstream high school life in America. Based on interviews and discussions with rural and suburban students from "All-American" communities and published research, the book debunks myths about school safety and discusses multiple aspects of emotional violence in a school setting, including stalking, bullying, dysfunctional adaptations to harassment, and teacher violations. The authors exhibit an insightful understanding of school cliques (e.g., "hicks," jocks, and "Goths") but tend to be alarmist when depicting daily high school life. However, the research is impressive and generates many valuable suggestions for improving the school environment. The book concludes with resources and readings on bullying and violence prevention. Though Garbarino and de Lara's book is more focused on school management issues, both books are recommended for public library parenting collections. [Thompson's book was previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 4/1/02.]-Antoinette Brinkman, M.L.S., Evansville, I.