Heroics for Beginners

When a seemingly crazy, poorly dressed soothsayer tells you not to let a magical talisman fall into the wrong hands, take him or her seriously. DO NOT laugh it off and leave said talisman simply lying around on a side table; you might as well just end the world yourself. - The Handbook of Practical Heroics, p. 134. The kingdom of Deserae is in the most direly perilous of dire perils. The realm's precious magical talisman - Ancient Artifact Model Seven - is in the grimy hands of the evil Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named) ... . Only one man can stop him (and, by the by, win the hand of Deserae's exceedingly well-proportioned princess) . Unfortunately, he's never really done this sort of thing before. But Prince Kevin Timberline is determined to find a way into the Fortress of Doom (perhaps through the gift shop?) , resist the advances of a leather-clad, whip-wielding temptress (well, maybe that's not so bad) , and face an army of unspeakable nastiness (okay, that's bad) , armed only with his reasonably pure heart, questionable courage - and most importantly, a copy of The Handbook of Practical Heroics ...