Going Nowhere Fast (The Joe and Dottie Loudermilk Mysteries Book 1)

Joe and Dottie Loudermilk are all set for the perfect early retirement. Joe's an ex-cop, and Dottie's a former English teacher, and as soon as the "SOLD" sign goes up on the lawn in front of their longtime Los Angeles home, they intend to take their brand new Ford pickup truck and Airstream trailer wherever the great American highway leads. Unfortunately, fate is determined to have two forms of trouble dog their every step: murder and their five incorrigible grown children. In Dottie's own words, the Loudermilk brood "go to school, but take pains not to learn anything remotely useful; date weird people and adhere to Mickey Mouse religions...And give birth to grandchildren from hell (whom they raise) like goldfish won at a church carnival." In this introductory adventure, Joe and Dottie visit the Grand Canyon in Arizona, where they're immediately confronted by a corpse in their bathroom, the FBI, an All-Pro lineman from the Los Angeles Raiders---and most frightening of all, their reprehensible son Bad Dog.Both lovers of the offbeat cozy, and parents who know the misery of wayward children, have declared the Loudermilk adventures an hilarious and, to quote The New York Times, "credibly sentimental" treat.