The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain

Cheer Up with Biting Humor of Mark Twain

Enjoy few quotes from this humorous book, then go and buy a copy: ADVERTISING During his days as a journalist, the young Mark Twain once edited a small newspaper in Missouri. A subscriber wrote in, saying that he had found a spider in his paper and asked whether this was a sign of good or bad uck. Twain answered: "Dear Subscriber: Finding a spider in your paper was neither good luck nor bad luck for you. The spider was merely looking over our paper to see which merchant is not advertising so that he can go to that store, spin his web across the door and lead a life of undisturbed peace ever afterward." ADVICE It is beter to give than receive - especially advice. Mark Twain was always willing to donate free advice to the needy and the unsuspecting. "It's notble to be good", he said, "and it's nobler to teach others to be good, and less trouble." Whenever you find that you are on the side of majority, it is time to reform (- or pause and reflect). BELIEFS If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him. SURGERY Mark Twain offered this advice on the proper state of mind for undergoing surgery: "Console yourself with the reflection that you are giving the doctor pleasure, and that he is getting paid for it." INSULTS When Mark Twain disapproved of someone, he was not likely o keep it a secret. A remark he made on hearing of the death of an annoying person is typical: "He has done a thing for me which I wouldn't even have done for myself. If he will only stay dead now I will call the account square and drop the grudge I bear him." Read more